It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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