im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
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