And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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