Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
