halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to