drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?