I must be too annoying 4 u.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
