my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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