I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
two words...techno handjob
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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