im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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