I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
