More tranny stories later!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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