Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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