how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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