Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize