If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
