We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
