it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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