And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
