you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
