hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've changed since you got that strap on
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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