i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize