omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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