all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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