Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
