Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Randomize
