I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
