You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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