Apparently you make a good broom.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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