It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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