I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
