we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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