on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
