my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
