yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
