I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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