white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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