You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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