wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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