I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize