everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
