she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You pole danced in your parka.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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