theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
