just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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