Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
