Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i love accidental penises.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
