She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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