youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
