dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
