Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
