I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
