I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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