how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
