I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
