Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize