She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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